Making Time to Discover

Discover: find unexpectedly or in the course of a search. What once was not suddenly becomes and in the course of that process we obtain knowledge. Now here lies the question of whether knowledge is the space we want to occupy or whether ignorance, in the sense of not knowing for the sake of not [insert a negative sentiment - hurting, self-loathing, hating, resenting, feeling ____, etc.]. If we leave this tension alone for this moment and instead allow ourselves to ruminate on the added value of knowledge, we can wonder about arriving at the knowledge. 

There are prescribed methods, some which are imposed on us as a tradition, system, a cultural norm. We are expected to go to school and hope that school extends the equitable knowledge to all students through each slice of their life from content and skills. We assume that our nuclear familial units offer the habits and practices so that we learn to extend humanity to all and display certain elements of etiquette. We hope that in additional spaces, in religious spaces, hobby forming venues, and the public arena, the humans whom we define quickly as strangers would still, against many of our unfortunate instincts, see value in shaping all people as positive contributors and neighbors in our community. 

Beauties and joys, as universal as their sources can be, are difficult to impose, to teach, to share, to convince. I believe that when we encounter them in the spaces of experience, at the end of or perhaps the process of one’s discovery, we are afforded space to embrace and be changed. It’s in the doing and being, the active engagement of participation or the quiet solitude of listening, that we gain knowledge that once was foreign to us. And in that moment of discovery, comes a satisfaction that is unbeknownst to even ourselves because we might be for the first time learning about that beauty, that joy, or that nugget of truth about ourselves. 

If “discovering” is or can be such a beautiful process with a valuable output, product, takeaway on the other side of learning into it, then why don’t we (or more of us) discover (more regularly)?  

Well that would require time and perhaps a dash of boldness to take risks. Staying in what is known keeps us in our space of comfort. Exploring the unknown, well, that is scary. It is scary because it can counter, uproot a held belief and push you to make changes. Trust me, I am definitely in the “change is no fun” camp. Then there is also the role of time. Time is often too limited because at a base level, we have to make sure our ends connect from one breath to the next, but also because we have been conditioned to glorify not having enough of it. We want to be busy and to produce. We want to be on the go because to not means something is lacking.   

Presently, time is something I do have for once. And this past weekend I participated in a 20-hour T.R.Y. Trauma Recovery Yoga training workshop. I first signed up because I’m visiting my friend in Vegas, and she was attending the workshop; the words “yoga” and “trauma” sounded interesting enough to invest time into it. My immediate thought was, “This could be a cool resource for me to use for whatever my next steps might be. I’m sure I could use this with my kiddos…” 

The TRY method focuses on “bringing peace in the form of yoga and meditation to those who have endured trauma or live in crisis.” Some important truths that I learned and was reminded of & reacquainted with include:

• Everyone has and experiences trauma. Trauma is subjective to your personal experiences. 
• Bottom-Up Healing and Regulation focuses on the body first - breath & movement, which aligns with the fact that our body is the primary entry point in trauma and traumatic experiences. 
• Healing is a partnership of mind, body, brain, emotion.
• Turn our judgement into curiosity. 
• All forgiveness holds self-forgiveness. 

Talk about an immersive and learning experience. Throughout the workshop, different trauma surfaced, shit that I apparently have avoided, didn’t allow myself to hold space for, thought I had addressed but other things had to be prioritized. As someone in the “service industry,” you are accustomed to putting your “customers first.” And depending on the industry, we dive deep into that MO to our personal detriment, hence facing compassion fatigue, burnout, and even physical health issues (which makes sense with the way trauma works! It takes a toll on our immune system and materializes in different ways). 

As time passed in the workshop, I chuckled at myself about my initial thought about participating in this workshop for my students, teachers, others. While I can and will definitely use this for future opportunities working with young people, in education spaces, etc, I have also become a healthier version of myself in this discovery of more intentionally sitting with the trauma that clearly had not left my mind, body, brain. Healing is not instantaneous, nor does one “dose” of something address the series of experiences I have encountered. But this workshop (& other experiences I have had the time & space to encounter) are anchoring me in new discoveries, truths, rhythms that offer me joy, space, a posture to embrace life and propel forward. 

When we allow ourselves the space and time to really engage and experience a moment with our bodies, brains, & minds, and often in doing so engage and experience that moment with another person, we open up the opportunity to discover something, be it unexpectedly or because of the intentional pursuit of that space and time. And in doing so we gain knowledge or relearn/remember knowledge we once had. 

In our discovery, we grow. 

And in our growth, I believe there is room to exhale. 

And in that exhale, we receive so that we can give from the overflow on our saucer rather than the bottom of our cups. 

During one portion of the training, we discussed the importance of affirmations in meditation. Speaking truths into one another and ourselves as routine has a neuroprocessing impact. We were handed cards (back facing us) and then told to turn it over, affirmed that the card chose us intentionally. I get that this might sound/feel too woo-woo but then I think about what it means to be human. How many of us, child or adult, could use reminders (or hear for the first time) that "I am powerful. I am safe. I am peaceful. I am creative. I am magic."